When words aren’t enough, there will always be music to get through hell.

Sometimes, people cannot comprehend what you are going through no matter how you explain it to them.

But there will always be music.

Music created by artists who are going through with the same situation as you are now, or got inspired by other people with the same situation.

And with it, I hope you’ll feel less alone. Someone, somewhere out there, there is another person who is fighting the same demon as you. Fighting, surviving.

There are others who choose written literature like poem, stories and the like. But for me, music will always be the remedy for every hurting feeling.

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Just something

Well, I am not in the mood for writing stuff, or telling stories, or sharing my ideas. My mind is so blank but it’s full of unnecessary noise. I haven’t been talking to anyone recently. My sister is burdened with school paper works and I just can’t approach other people. I have this thinking that I will be a bother to them if I approached selfishly, seeking attention and time. Well, if it isn’t for attention and time, why would you approach other people? To ask something from them? Well, others are like that.

I’ve met with my friend yesterday after work and it was refreshing talking to another human being.

Ah, in my office, I have one other person existing here but he doesn’t talk to me. I don’t know why but maybe it has something to do with his personality and his preference and I am not up to those things. So basically, a day passes by here without us talking. And it’s getting on my nerves and all. But of course, who am I to demand a conversation from him when I cannot start a conversation.

Anyway.

Yesterday was fun. And now we are back to the boring days. But I am looking forward this Saturday. Will have to meet people because of their orders and the like. I started this mini business of reselling food. Thought it would change the pace in my everyday life. But I am getting irritated with the person I’m dealing with. She does not wish to compromise and I hate adjusting for people who only thinks of themselves. I am done with that shit.

But anyway. *deeeeeeeeep sighs*

Yeah, that’s why ‘just something’

When does love come in?

Lately, the media is putting a spotlight on mental health awareness and I think it is beautiful. One of those news is death by suicide caused by depression.

And with those deaths, comes along a list of people who loves you and is having regrets that the person died/committed suicide. People who cares for you and expressing their wish of a long life to you because you have so much potential to change the world.

I mean, I am not against it, it’s like a tribute or a remembrance to the person or something.

But my point is, I don’t get it. I just don’t.

I don’t get it why do some people express their love, affection and care when it’s too late already? When those words mean nothing at all anymore. When those words won’t reach the person anymore.

Don’t you dare tell me that those words will reach the person wherever he is, because how can you send a message to a person who is dead already? How can you send a message when you don’t know where that person is, in the saying that “wherever that person is”. Your words will just vanish with the wind. And IF IT DOES get to the dead person, will it matter? Will the dead come back, full of life?

Where were you when that person is struggling? What did you do when he finally reached out for help? When he seems to be seeking for attention, did you just shrug it off and say that he just wants attention, nothing more? How did you respond when that person told you that he cannot do it alone? Did you perhaps say that “god will not give you challenges you cannot handle” or “you can do it. believe in yourself.” or “you are far more luckier than other people because other people have it worse compared to you” or “talk to god and your worries will be gone” or worst and in my case, I have heard this first hand, “I cannot help you. You alone can help yourself.”

“I cannot help you. You alone can help yourself”

Why would you tell that to a person who is reaching out, finally showing his vulnerabilities, trusting you with his pain, showing you that he is a human after all, who gets hurt and falls down.

Then when all hope and light is lost and the person is pushed too far away, another light gets put out.

Or maybe, sometimes, that person didn’t reached out and nobody knew what was going through his mind and heart. He puts on a happy face whenever there are people around and didn’t show any vulnerability. But as a friend, would that pass by you? Won’t you notice the signs? I mean if you truly care for that person, you would notice, right? No matter how he puts up a charade of a happy person, there will still be signs. Or it’s just me, being sensitive.

This is taking too long, what I want to say is, please, instead of heartfelt messages, love and care for the dead person, let us start conveying those important feelings while they are still here with us. It will make a huge difference. It might not get through right away but eventually, you will be one of many that may be able to create a thread connecting that person and saving him in the end. Or if the person didn’t accept it right away, don’t just give up on them if you truly care and love that person. They are in a state where they feel like no one is there. No one is able to help them. It is hard, but you just don’t give up if you truly care for that person. You gotta be ready and strong, don’t expect too much from him when his mind and heart is in disarray because he already knows that he is a disappointment already. It may hurt you also because no matter how you care, that person may not see you even if you are there. So be prepared for that.

I don’t know if there people left who’s willing to do those things for the person they truly care about. That they will see it through the end and not leave you when things get rough.